I Wonder

I Wonder

When darkness falls
and I sit alone, I wonder.....
will my voice ever be heard
in more than a whisper?
Will my words have impact
on any but myself?
Will my thoughts be for naught,
but an illusionary world?

I wonder......
Will anyone want to know me
beyond the walls I've erected?
Will I share a laugh with anyone
ever again?
Will I live to see tomorrow's sun dawn brightly,
nestled in the cradle of a light blue sky?

I wonder.....
Can anyone hear me
beyond this screen of glass,
crying out in pain,
weeping unshed tears,
praying for release?

I wonder.....indeed I do.....
even while all around me
life flutters by.....and I am no part of it.
For I am a watcher........silent...alone
even when I stand among a crowd.

I see what others close their eyes to.
I feel what others close their hearts to.
I know what others turn their backs on.
Their pain.....
Their confusion....
My sorrow....
My fear......
They blend into one.....
a confusing array within a melody.

I wonder, in the emptiness of the night.
enwrapped in the comfort darkness and silence,
I wonder....and it hurts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is a burden to be an empath, at times. One is filled with the emotions of others, never really sure what is ones own and what is someone else's. One can get lost in another person's emotions, experiences, and life, if one is not on guard. Sometimes it is even hard to distinguish who we are after being in someone's head for to long. But truth amounts to not how it affects us, but what we do with the gift. While simply going mad is rather redundant, helping others is the desired ending. Oh well, listen to me rant.

~~Namaste~~